So I started online dating, specifically match.com. At first I thought I would never be that desperate but its proved to be quite an adventure. I guess there are a lot of bad apples on sites like these but I've had a pleasent experience so far with most of the people I've met. The hardest part I find is letting someone know you're not interested after you meet up with them.
If anything I'm meeting a wide range of people. I don't really expect a relationship to blossom out of it. But its kept my mind off of other boys...is it wrong that I still think about my ex every day? It's been six months now...when does it stop? I think about him, not in the "omg how do i live without you" kind of way but more in the "wow I just miss you and the friendship we had." maybe i just miss the idea of him...
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Is anyone out there?
I guess if you have a blog, especially if it's about being single, your objective for humanity would be to instill some hope in all those single people who are looking for love. After all, that's all we have is hope. Hope that there is someone out there who is looking for us at the same time we are looking for them.
But sometimes I don't feel full of hope. When I read about women who are in their late 30's who are still single and no boyfriend in sight, it doesn't give me much hope. When I read about the divorce rate and how often marriages fail, it makes me lose a little bit of self. How can I possibly believe that there's someone out there for me, who is willing to work as hard as I am to make a relationship work, when everywhere around me, marriages drop faster than it takes to film a Will Ferrell movie?
And even when I do find someone, how will I know to trust my judgment? I thought I had found the one for me. I thought we were going to spend our whole lives together. He knew me better than I knew myself and I trusted him with my life. I knew he would never ever intentionally hurt me or cheat on me. And even then, as much as we loved each other, we couldn't make it work. So how do I trust myself to make the right choice in the future? To know that I am thinking with my head and not just blinded by my heart?
Is there anyone out there who feels the way I do? I'm still so lost. I don't get this, I don't get it at all.
But sometimes I don't feel full of hope. When I read about women who are in their late 30's who are still single and no boyfriend in sight, it doesn't give me much hope. When I read about the divorce rate and how often marriages fail, it makes me lose a little bit of self. How can I possibly believe that there's someone out there for me, who is willing to work as hard as I am to make a relationship work, when everywhere around me, marriages drop faster than it takes to film a Will Ferrell movie?
And even when I do find someone, how will I know to trust my judgment? I thought I had found the one for me. I thought we were going to spend our whole lives together. He knew me better than I knew myself and I trusted him with my life. I knew he would never ever intentionally hurt me or cheat on me. And even then, as much as we loved each other, we couldn't make it work. So how do I trust myself to make the right choice in the future? To know that I am thinking with my head and not just blinded by my heart?
Is there anyone out there who feels the way I do? I'm still so lost. I don't get this, I don't get it at all.
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